Back in the day, I would slather baby oil all over my body and lay out in the backyard in the awful heat in order to get that golden brown skin all us teenagers dreamt of. At the time, I could probably hear my skin sizzle as I was burning the first fifty layers of my skin off in order to look good in my Jordache Jeans, tube top and Candies slides. 45 years later and hundreds of sun spots covering my entire body later, I go into a booth and get sprayed now!
I tried the Mystic Tanning Booth at my local tanning booth up the street from work for the first time. I’m about to go on vacation and wanted to look good in my shorts, etc. (I know, I know, I should have started an intensive exercise program six months ago in order to look good, but that’s another post at another time, for now, I’ll go for the easy fix…tanned legs!) The Little Girl at the front desk did a good sell job on me, so I thought, why not! If it didn’t look good, I could take low grade sand paper and sand the crap out of my skin to get it all off. No harm no foul, right? Little Girl tried to talk me into the tan that she would “personal” spray on to me, but I thought, she was far to young to have to see that much cellulite in one room at the same time at that young age, so I declined the “personal” service and decided on the solo booth method.
Little Girl escorted me to the back and into a room that contained a huge blue closet. After seconds of instructions that she rattled off to me while I was half listening I was ready to go. I removed my clothing, put the shower cap on and stepped inside. Now did she say front first or back first and did she say it will stop and then I move around, or did she say it will move around me? Open eyes, close eyes and wait? Don’t forget to keep your mouth shut, open paws, close paws? Stand in a sumo wrestling stance, but should I lift and separate my bottom, or will the spray get in there? But if I lift and separate, will I then have hand prints on my rear end? It started and sprayed and then stopped. Was that it? Should I turn around? There it goes again, I better turn around! Should I turn to the side, I don’t what stripes! It stopped. Is that it? All of this was running through my brain and it only took less than one minute to get the job done. I tried gingerly walking out of the booth, without slipping, I had spray on tan all over my feet. I can see it now. Woman slips and falls, covered in spray on tan with only a hairnet on, film at 11:00!!
What us girls do to look good. I’ll let you know if it worked!
By the way, that’s me in the picture above! (Yeah, in my dreams).
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